Confidence isn’t something we’re born with—it’s something we build. Honestly we build it over and over again. We all experience trauma, make mistakes that rock us to our core and generally just hit periods of time in our lives where things feel impossible. Mamas I'm looking at you!
That's when the doubt goblins start to play havoc. Often our first instinct is to SQUASH that doubt. But that hardly ever works and it has never been a long term solution for me. Those doubt goblins are persistent and keep on whispering in my ear.
Oh my God did you really say that out loud? You are so weird! Why Why Why did I forget that ONE thing. Note to self - doubt goblins are big fat liars cause yes, I forgot one thing, but I remembered 99 things for goodness sakes.
So if squashing them doesn't work - what does? Tools. Tools that restore, bolster, and perpetuate confidence over time.
Research shows that confidence impacts EVERYTHING including personal fulfillment, career success, relationships, and even our health.
That explains a lot doesn't it.
I'm here to support women so they can step into their power with clarity and strength. Let's do this
The Science of Confidence: Why It Matters
Confidence isn’t just a feeling—it’s a mindset that affects how we move through life. Studies show that confidence plays a crucial role in:
- Career Success: A study by the University of California found that confident individuals are more likely to be promoted, earn higher salaries, and be seen as leaders.
- Health & Well-Being: Low confidence is linked to higher stress levels, anxiety, and even physical health issues. Confident people tend to make healthier choices, engage in self-care, and maintain a positive mindset.
- Decision-Making: Confidence helps us trust our intuition and make decisions more effectively, reducing overthinking and hesitation.
Amy Cuddy’s Research: How Body Language Boosts Confidence
Harvard social psychologist Amy Cuddy’s research emphasizes how body language shapes confidence. Her TED Talk on power poses became a global phenomenon because it highlights a simple yet effective way to boost confidence in just minutes. Her findings show that:
- Expansive postures (standing tall, open shoulders, taking up space) increase testosterone (the dominance hormone) and decrease cortisol (the stress hormone).
- Holding a power pose for two minutes before a stressful event can make you feel more confident and perform better.
- Nonverbal communication shapes not just how others see us, but how we see ourselves.
Applying Cuddy’s strategies means consciously using body language to reinforce confidence, whether it’s before a big meeting, an important conversation, or just in daily life.
Restoring Confidence: How to Bounce Back from Doubt Goblins
Even the strongest women have moments of self-doubt. The key is knowing how to reset and rebuild confidence when it wavers. Here are three ways to navigate the doubt goblins:
- Reframe Self-Doubt as Growth
- Instead of seeing doubt as a weakness, view it as a sign that you’re pushing beyond your comfort zone.
- A study published in Psychological Science found that people who see challenges as opportunities for growth build more resilience.
- Recall Past Wins
- Confidence is built on evidence. Make a “wins list” and review past successes to remind yourself of your capabilities.Keep this list where you can easily find it. Mine is in my Notes section of my phone.
- Research shows that reflecting on past accomplishments boosts self-efficacy, the belief in your ability to succeed.
- Surround Yourself with Supportive Women
- Strong women don’t go it alone. A study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that women with strong female friendships have higher confidence and resilience.
- Seek out mentorship, coaching, or a like-minded community to reinforce your confidence. I am a member of two women led communities and recommend it highly.
Bolstering Confidence: Daily Habits for Lasting Strength
Confidence isn’t built overnight. It’s cultivated through daily habits that reinforce a positive self-image. There are times in my life when I lean on these heavily and times when I don't feel I need them as much. Apply as needed.
- Powerful Self-Talk
- Replace “I’m not ready” with “I can figure this out.”
- A study in The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that self-affirmations improve performance under stress.
- Intentional Posture & Movement
- Stand tall, maintain eye contact, and move with purpose.
- Research from Columbia University suggests that open body language increases perceived and actual confidence.
- Visualization Techniques
- Imagine yourself succeeding before important events.
- Studies in sports psychology show that mental rehearsal improves confidence and performance.
Perpetuating Confidence: Keeping It Strong Long-Term
Confidence is not a one and done achievement like a high school diploma. It's more like life long learning. To keep it strong:
- Take Calculated Risks
- Confidence grows when you step outside your comfort zone. Challenge yourself regularly.
- Research from the University of Melbourne found that taking risks builds long-term confidence.
- Develop a Resilient Mindset
- Understand that failure is part of success. This took me a LONG time.
- A Stanford study on growth mindset showed that seeing setbacks as learning experiences fosters long-term confidence.
- Invest in Personal Development
- Attend workshops, read books, and engage in coaching.
- Ongoing learning keeps your skills and confidence sharp.
Confidence as a Lifelong Practice
Strong women know that confidence isn’t static—it’s something to be nurtured, protected, and strengthened over time. Whether through body language, mindset shifts, or supportive relationships, every woman has the ability to restore, bolster, and perpetuate her confidence. I believe in you. I know you've got what it takes. It's NORMAL to feel not normal my friend. If limiting beliefs are what stop you in your track I wrote a blog that can help.
Try some of these strategies. Think of this blog like a buffet and try the ones that appeal to you the most. Remember: confidence isn’t about never feeling uncertain—it’s about trusting yourself to move forward anyway. I support women as an intuition and confidence coach. I believe that strong, rich, successful women are NEEDED in this world and you deserve to feel confident my friend.
Are you ready to reclaim and strengthen your confidence? Let’s build it together.
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